My last post in this blog was years ago and I’ve since deleted or hidden all those old posts. I find myself at a different place now. A person with a different focus and values. More life has happened to me since then… I considered starting over with a new blog name and all that. However, I’ve done that before and it doesn’t pay homage to where I’ve been, even if I’m the only one who knows those experiences and secrets. As I was reflecting on to change the name, or not, I began to dwell on the idea of reinvention. The concept is one I’ve always embraced. To change identities and values as life demands and suits. I’ve had so many roles and titles in my 35 years. Not intending to list them, an invested reader will pick up on them as time goes by.
My current focus is maintaining my own healing after brokenness. To guide my children through the ups and downs of the journeys their lives will take them on. While intertwined, we each have our own story with our own drummer and our own beat.
I live a life of intention. Purposeful living that includes compassion for all people, first and foremost as God teaches. I will not entertain political debates, on my blog. There are plenty of venues for that. I love ALL people and fiercely support the LGBT community as several of those near and dear to me proudly claim their place in that community. Speaking of community, my strongest sense of community is within my own home and with my ,3 other nuclear family members. I have dear friends but there is no place I’d rather be. Working in medicine for nearly 14 years, I’ve been blessed to learn that life is precious and precarious. As both my children have faced illness, I’ve realized that being a mom who misses time with children going out with the girls or traveling is not who I want to be. (I do not however, judge others for their choices. It’s not my place.) There is no perfect parent, no SuperMom even if Siri calls me that, there are good enough parents. This part of my values is a work in progress. I hold myself to ridiculous standards. As I’ve aged, I’ve learned to give grace to others. While I know I deserve the same from myself, it’s a challenge.
Many things bring a smile to my face, singing with my children, board games that end in laughter, finding snippets of inspiration online, helping a patient or a stranger and leaving them better for having had me touch their life, sitting in my husband’s lap when I am sad or scared or angry, connecting with my family that lives hundreds and sometimes thousands of miles away, being a part of the lives on my online friends, some who are as close as family. I am wild and silly and random and love the shock the person in line behind me in the drive thru by paying for their beverage. (My favorite is a Venti Iced Green Tea No Classic with Extra Ice, if you are curious.)
For most of my life I abhorred change. I feared and hated it. I would exclaim my negative feelings loudly and be that much more miserable for having done so. Now, I don’t get excited about it but I can accept it and embrace it, with effort. I see it as a gift. Life’s permission to try something new that I hadn’t thought of or thought I didn’t want or couldn’t accomplish. Some days it takes tremendous effort to see the good past the bad, the blessing and learning past the pain. It’s all worth it. I keep telling myself it is and you know what, I’m right.
I have no idea what we will experience together, you and I, dear reader, but it will be colorful and full of life. Thanks for coming by.