“Letting my soul breathe takes effort, allowing it to speak and it’s words to fill the pages of my blog, is a sweetness none compared to. Imagine a foot that has been asleep and is numb, then you experience pins and needles as it begins to wake and finally, oh joy of blood flow and complete use again, you can jump and dance and run. This is what it feels like to let my writer out of hibernation. To catch up with her and her dreams and feelings as we contemplate the blinking cursor on the screen. I love to write.”
Now that I’ve let the ice thaw on the creative juices I froze years ago life is changing and it’s changing fast. I love FaceBook, I’ll admit it, I over post and overshare. There is something about the little box that you can pick your matching mood smilie that satisfies my ego. “Here I am! Look at me” “I’m self important!” ! It’s silly and slightly juvenile. This morning however, while I could have commented on my early morning phone call with my first mom, or my reluctance to get up for work, or the quality of my sleep, the italicized words posted above flowed onto the keyboard. I could have kept going and made a proper blog post out of that early morning vein of inspiration. It’s been a very long time since I’ve considered being late to work so I could put a thought to “paper” and it felt amazing. In my day to day life, I’ve pared down my vocabulary so I sound less pretentious and more like a countrified Central Oregonian. Without searching, I can feel that city girl with the extensive and descriptive vocabulary stroking me from the inside. I can hear her, even better than I can feel her. Her speech and writing patterns are different from this external person that people encounter daily. It’s surprising, distracting, pleasing and even a smidge intoxicating. In the last few days I’ve been increasingly unfocused on work and family and I’m drawn to fantasy and writing like a love bug to another. My plan is to try to ration my time on the internet and in the blogosphere. I recognize this nearly insurmountable challenge as I am self-indulgent and the internet is always at my fingertips. It would be nothing for me to fall into the world of words and leave real life behind. I love it here. Not enough to miss the milestones of my children, or to shirk my work responsibilities or make my spouse think I’m having an affair with my own mind…At least not today. Be beautiful, people. We all are.