When saying the right thing doesn’t come so easily…

This was a long week. There was a lot going on at work and I got home later than usual this evening. All the way home I looked forward to pizza, despite the way my gut has been, and a movie with the family. I was a the table, eating pizza, and Preston says to me, “I invited someone to homecoming today, Mom.” I was a little disgruntled because I encouraged him not to become involved with anyone for a few months following his break up with his girlfriend of 6+ months. A week or so before he told me that he would be going with a group of friends which sounded great to me. I did share with Preston my mild disappointment that he was going with someone specific and reminded him that I’d like him to wait to date for awhile. He replied that he thought I only told him to hold off for a month. Then came the shocker. I asked “who did you ask to homecoming?” His name is Max.

His name is Max. I wasn’t expecting him to say he’d invited a boy. I’d like to say that I didn’t cringe inwardly when he told me. I am completely supportive of Preston being bisexual. Being supportive and engaging with him and remaining involved with his life is commitment that I am only all to happy to honor. I cringed because I’m concerned for the backlash and prejudice that he will face. Secretly, I was relived when he was less visible dating a girl. While I had NO idea how to be the mother of a teenage boy dating a teenage girl, I’m even more clueless about how to support teenage boys dating. It’s probably not nearly as complicated as my visceral reaction to them is. I know that I’ll find my way through this challenge as I have every other that life has thrown my way. My faith tells me that God knows what He is going. I believe that when things are easy and also when they are challenging. I’m not just fair weather faithful.

I asked Preston if we can talk more about Max tomorrow without Logan being in the midst of our conversation. Waiting until tomorrow allows us the chance to watch Transformers as a family and relax. I’ll have a good night’s sleep and time for reflection and prayer. In the meantime, he knows I love him and a few hugs will remind him.

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About reinventingrebecca

Human, Christian, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Reunited Adoptee, Sister, Friend. I love all people. I've lived lots in my 35 years and all of it has made me who I am, and who I choose not to be. View all posts by reinventingrebecca

4 responses to “When saying the right thing doesn’t come so easily…

  • Suz Bednarz

    I so totally understand this. Despite having no relationship with my daughter, when I learned she identified as “queer” (her preferred word) I became fearful not judgmental. Even lacking a relationship with her, I fear the harsh reality forced upon non-heteros. The world is not easy for them. I think you are a wonderful mother and you will walk this road with Preston. I hope he and Max have a wonderful time.

    • reinventingrebecca

      Thanks, Suz. I try to remind myself that all I have to be is a good enough mother and it takes some of the pressure off. For some reason last night I forgot that he and I have the kind of relationship where I can say “Hey, that caught me off guard but I love and support you and want you to be happy!” It doesn’t have to be weird and I don’t have to hide the fact that I’m unsure about what to say. Showing him that I have times of uncertainty and confusion just make me more human. I’m so grateful for your comment/feedback. I hope your FB break is going well. 🙂 XO

  • eagoodlife

    Important not to make a big deal of it don’t you think? He has to learn his own lessons, parenting is so hard sometimes when we have to stand back and let them get on with it.

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