Hello readers. Happy day to you. It is for me. I’m in my favorite place. In my bed with laptop, my favorite fuzzy blanket, wearing smelly hand lotion, listening to the iTunes radio station of 80’s movie hits. This is my sanctuary. I know that I am only supposed to use my bed for sleeping, you sleep hygiene purists. Hush. Here, I am able to let the noise and chaos of the busy work day fade into oblivion. This place is for my life and my thoughts and my feelings. There is no pressure, anxiety or worry. In fact, every day I worry less than the last. Being grateful makes me too busy to worry! 🙂
I know that some of you have the opinion that I share too much of myself, my life, my family, online. I can see where you are coming from. Being told that I had my cell # public on FB really blew my mind. That was an ignorant accident, which I fixed. What isn’t an accident is choosing to share what life has been life growing up as an adoptee, or Preston’s mental health challenges, our experience with inpatient mental health treatment and safety proofing our teenager in our home, my stories of reunion, my faith and my family. I choose to share what we have lived and how we love so that others may learn from what we’ve been through. My friends know that they can contact me if their children are in a mental health crisis. I have a unique perspective and will not judge. I am not ashamed of myself as a parent who made mistakes. I’m certainly not ashamed of my children and how they’ve dealt with challenges thrown at them. I’ve lived a large portion of my life with disordered eating. Through therapy, love, prayer and deciding to have a positive life, I am in recovery. (Not cured. Addiction doesn’t work that way.) I have learned to love and except the size I am. In recent photos I LOOK HAPPY!!! It’s a good look for me. This is my authentic life. It has ugly and love and joy and pain. Every moment is worth it. Everything I am and everything I have I give thanks to God. I hope that other people can be inspired by my faith. There is value in my life lived online. I have friends across the United States. When I know of a prayer intention that needs more attention, I rally my prayer warriors and they never let me down.
This life I live and share online, is real. I’ve lived my entire life without my biological father. This week, I reached out to him on FB and he reached back. In the few days following, he’s answered my remaining questions about my heritage. (I have found it really hard to focus because I want to keep reading and re-reading the new info for my identity.) This online transparency isn’t for everyone. I know I push the envelope and other people’s comfort zone. I try to be respectful of what other people might not want shared online. I want to let me excitement run rough-shod over everyone and everything and spin around in a circle laughing until I fall down.
So here I am, to share me, my stories, my failures and my triumphs. I offer you my wisdom, my dreams, my friendship, and most of all my prayers. With love and more love, Rebecca